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See More Jane Seymour — Nude-Comer Alexis Dziena FFN — Lauren Holly's Living End — Skin Classics: Loose Screws
January 3, 2006
A wedding can be a beautiful thing, if you're not the nut getting bound in unholy matrimony. There's a free and endless supply of booze and a group of romantic unwed women dressed to impress. Together that makes whoopee, and nowhere is that better dramatized than in Wedding Crashers: Uncorked Edition, which arrives on DVD today. Is that Isla Fisher waking up Vince Vaughn tied in bed with her naked tits and ass, or is it a body double? Who cares, at the hour and two-minute mark you'll be happy for anybody's skin. Of course, there's some anonymous nudity sixteen minutes into the film. But the film is most notorious for Jane Seymour trying to seduce Owen Wilson by taking off her bra. You don't see more of Jane, but it's enough to uncork your flesh bottle.
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Every now and then a movie will completely surprise the Skinsider. Case in point, Broken Flowers, out today on DVD. The meandering film by Jim Jarmusch stars Bill Murray as a lothario who may have fathered a son twenty-one years ago and visits old girlfriends of that era to see what he can uncover. With a collection of exes that could drain viewers dry--Julie Delpy, Francis Conroy, Tilda Swinton, and Jessica Lange--audiences hope he uncovers a lot! But it's a nude-comer named Alexis Dziena, playing Sharon Stone's aptly named daughter Lolita, who makes this flower bloom. Forty minutes in and--wham bam, thank you, Alexis--there she is on the cell phone in all her full-frontal glory. The movie ceases to exist after this but propels Jarmusch's work into a hole nude class.
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Lauren Holly is a dirty girl. After filming Dumb and Dumber she married funnyman Jim Carrey, and after watching the Unrated Edition of the movie, out today on DVD, it's easy to see how she hooked Carrey. At the thirty-one-minute mark Carrey is embracing his bride-to-be and lifts her short summer dress to reveal a panty-less ass that marks the beginning and end of Lauren's skintastic career. The marriage to Carrey didn't last, but that cheeky perv-formance will live on forever.
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It's unofficially known as Screwballs II, but Loose Screws, out on DVD today, is the sequel that surpasses the original. This drive-in skinema receives the highest rating from Mr. Skin, four stars, and it's easy to see why. Cynthia Belliveau makes her nude debut with a topless striptease an hour and twenty-four minutes into the film. Another first-time skinster, C.J. Fidler, gets started on the right foot by flashing all three B’s in the bath--does that mean four B’s? Beth Gondek, as Candy Barr, premiered her privates here and sadly never went on to flash her finery again, but her breasts are preserved for perversity. And Karen Wood gives you wood with her high-school breast examination. All this is guaranteed to tighten your Loose Screws.
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Beach Balls, out today on DVD, promises as much as Loose Screws but only delivers some brief nudity from Leslie Danon, a pretty brunette who went on to bigger and better things, at least in terms of skin. She next flashed her rack in Sometimes They Come Back… Again and, as that title implies, did so again in Blood Thirsty. Since then all's been quiet on the nudity front. The battle may be lost, but the war isn't over.
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The double entendre is almost too much to bear in a title like Corporate Affairs, out today on DVD, but thankfully its star Ria Coyne bares it all. She has shown it on the pages of Playboy, and this big-breasted blonde first exposed her talents topless dancing in Naked Obsession. Corporate Affairs is the last time the Skinsider has seen this beauty on film, so if you're out there, Ria, come back; you're sorely missed.
