The Skinsider Celebrity Rumors, Celebrity Gossip, Breaking News on Who's Getting Nude
Bloodrayne Boobs Reign — Bo Derek Pre-10 — Crazy for Natasha Richardson — Long Lust Jaime King!
January 17, 2006
Not since Cher wore a loincloth and sat barebacked on a horse to sing "Half-Breed" has the plight of people of mixed races been more hotly told than in the newly released Bloodrayne. The story of a half-human, half-vampire, and fully erect-making eighteenth-century Romanian (played by Kristanna Loken, last seen terminating sperm with Arnold Schwarzeneger in Terminator 3) hits its stride at the fifty-five-minute mark. That's when Kristanna's shirt is ripped off and she flashes her Count Boobulas. Earlier overweight lover and daughter of Meat Loaf Amanda Aday gets in the middle of an anonymous nude babefest. She's not naked, but there're always old episodes on DVD of the sadly defunct Carnivāle to remedy that.
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No more needs to be said about Abigail Leslie is Back in Town, out today on DVD, than it's the product of the perverted mind of sexploitation guru Joe Sarno. Buy it. Now. But if you're not familiar with the whack-tastic works of Sarno--and if that's so, what's wrong with you?--then just know that he's one of the premiere talents in the world of naked ladies on film. And this is up to his high standard, with a pre-porn Jennifer Welles and blonde Rebecca Brooke--both oddly shared credits in the dirty comedy The Groove Tube--among countless other and less notorious nudie cuties. There's audio commentary by the master, but more stimulating are the bonus--or should that read boner?--trailers of other Sanro films. One is too much and a thousand not enough.
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While on the subject of softcore classics, let's dive into the oddity known as Deep Jaws, out today on DVD, a hybrid of exploitation, both riding the successful wave of Jaws and wading in the always warm waters of porno. Featuring such figuratively (and literally) big names in the skin business as Francesca "Kitten" Natividad and Candy Samples, as well as equally endowed if not as famous names as Roxanne Brewer. Also appearing straight from Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman are Sandy Carey and Anne Gaybis. This tale of some ravenous mermaids may be short of believability but it's long where it counts . . . in your pants!
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Before Bo Derek became a 10 at the box office thanks to the success of 10 she filmed A Change of Seasons, out today on DVD. She plays a college student whom lecherous lecturer Anthony Hopkins leaves his wife, played by Shirley MacLaine, for. If that's not hot enough, after Bo hit the big time, and before this was theatrically released, the producers rushed her back into the studio to include some extra-hot sex scenes. So why not throw a nude Bo into a hot tub twelve minutes into the film and watch the water churn? This season is definitely a steamer!
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What is it about crazy people that gets us so aroused? Maybe it's that they'll do anything, and that usually means something pleasing to our things. In Asylum, out today on DVD, Natasha Richardson isn't the crazy person, at least not at first, but the wife of a psychiatrist newly assigned to an asylum for the criminally insane. One of these madmen happens to be a hunky artist who sends shivers up Natasha's reserved life and sends her into a suicidal rage. But before that, she flashes her finery in several scenes sure to drive viewers crazy.
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Jaime King has blue eyes, blonde hair, and a penchant for taking her clothes off. She did it first in Happy Campers, making audiences quite happy, and lastly in Sin City. But sandwiching those two skinful roles is a meaty turn in Two for the Money, where the ex-runway model runs away with the film from heavyweights like Al Pacino. That's because she shows off her heavy weights. All the Skinsider can add is: Long live the King.
