The Skinsider Celebrity Rumors, Celebrity Gossip, Breaking News on Who's Getting Nude
Get Some Satisfaction — Andy Sidaris Sizzles — The Write Stuff: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Gwyneth Paltrow — Funny lady Mary Gross Nude
February 14, 2006
Don't you wish you were a rock star? You will after seeing Stoned, the new biopic about ex-Rolling Stone Brian Jones, which comes out March 17. The man may have died mysteriously in a pool as the Swinging '60s came to an end, but he managed to pour a lot of living into those twenty-seven years of his. Within five minutes there's a montage of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll, a parade of tits and ass that doesn't let up until the houselights come on. There's the small-knobbed charms of Swiss cheesecake Tuva Novotny and the plastic fantastic lovers of Monet Mazur playing Anita Pallenberg, who went from Jones to Keith Richards to Mick Jagger. Now where's my guitar? The Skinsider is ready to sing the blues.
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Let us now praise infamous men. This week sees the release of nearly a half dozen Sidaris sizzlers. For anyone without a dick who doesn't know who Andy Sidaris is, he's the man who made a career of big-busted babes with guns in T & Action sextravaganzas. Take Savage Beach, please! With Playboy Playmate and man's masturbation siren Teri Weigel and a cast of equally stacked though less mainstream stars, such as Dona Speir and Lisa London, Sidaris made federal drug agents a new lustful fantasy. He followed the success of this feature with a sequel that's even better, featuring a nude femme fatale in Julie Strain and just a nude Julie K. Smith. Both Julies and Shae Marks were already part of the Sidaris stable, having appeared with guns and little else in Day of the Warrior. Julie, the Strain one, had already been bad in Enemy Gold, which was a family affair, directed by Sidaris's son, Christian Drew Sidaris. The earliest entry in the Sidaris features out this week is Do or Die, which offers peeks at Pandora Peaks, whose assets are among some of the biggest boobs ever to get onscreen.
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Far more literary, though no less titerary, is the DVD release this week of Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle. The story about Dorothy Parker and the Algonquin Round Table of New York in the '20s is complete with the witty banter one expects, but it also contains much more skin than anyone thought they'd like to see of ink-stained scribblers. But then Parker is played by the always naked Jennifer Jason Leigh, who flashes some brief boobies fifty-seven minutes into the film. Seven minutes later comes the film's real teat when a topless Gwyneth Paltrow lets it all hang out. Now that's something to write about!
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Are there any fans of the old Saturday Night Live--you know, that saggy middle period that never got its props but still had some hot properties, such as Mary Gross? Well if you think Mary is anything but Gross, then buy Club Paradise, an old comedy making its way to DVD today. It's the only chance to see this funny lady and feel the punch line in your pants!
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Kristin Scott Thomas is one of those English broads responsible for her countrymen's stiff upper lips and lower pricks. She's been naked since Agent Trouble and most recently showed off her frame in Arsene Lupin, but this week you'll have to settle for a lesser feature, Framed. Kristin is most famous for getting skinful in The English Patient and breast seen in An Unforgettable Summer, but this is not a bad place to stay acquainted with the British tart. Yummy.
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Do you love to watch Lauren Lee Smith get girlfriendly on the cable steamer The L Word? Well, then get Lie with Me, out today on DVD, her only big-screen flash. This Canadian redhead is red hot. Who wouldn't want to lie with her?
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I know very little about Zombie Honeymoon, out today on DVD, but I like the name. That's not enough to endorse this, of course, so let me add that I know something else about it: It includes a first-time flash from pretty brunette Tracy Coogan. Sixteen minutes into this horror flick Tracy is exposing her breast parts in her honeymoon bed with her soon-to-be zombified hubby. Is she scared? Check out those nipples!
