The Skinsider Celebrity Rumors, Celebrity Gossip, Breaking News on Who's Getting Nude
Heavens to The Betsy — Ann-Margret's Dummy — Nip-tials with Mia Farrow — Claire "Derriere" Danes
April 25, 2006
It's been on DVD before, but heavens to Betsy, The Betsy returns to DVD today, and that's cause for carnal celebration. The film, based on Harold Robbins's soaper, is a boner-fied four-star classic, as defined by the all-knowing (and seeing) Mr. Skin. Doe-eyed, brown-haired beauty Kathleen Beller plays the title character, and she's fully naked within the first thirteen minutes of the film. Classy lady Lesley-Anne Down doesn't show her Down-there but does offer some ass crack and a flash of her itty-bitties forty minutes in. And don't forget wholesome Katharine Ross, who exposes her motherly charms breastfeeding an hour and five minutes into the film. That spreads the nudity out nicely, and what a spread!
*
Clowns freak out some people, and there have been ample movies exploiting that weird fear, but equally eerie is the supposedly comic device of the ventriloquist's dummy. There have also been many films exploring the devilish charms of the wooden tyrants, but few have been as successful as Magic, out today on DVD. One reason for this is the right breast of Ann-Margret, which she lets free while in bed with Anthony Hopkins forty-five minutes into the movie. That may not make viewers able to throw their voices, but the Skinsider bets they'll pitch a tent in their pants.
*
For some, a wedding marks the end: the end of courtship, the end of carousing, and the end of carnal knowledge. What should be the beginning of unbridled sexual expression often turns into social-security sex: You get it once a month, but it's not enough to live on. That's why there are movies such as A Wedding, out today on DVD, so men can be persuaded against shuttering their desires. Director Robert Altman may not have intended this for his theme, but after getting a glimpse at Mia Farrow's tits any man with more than a pebble in his pants will say goodbye to the misses and get what he's been missing!
*
Steve Martin is a wild and not-so-crazy guy. He wrote a novella called Shopgirl, in which his main character, a beautiful young woman, falls for an older man. Then he casts himself in the movie version, now out on DVD, and Claire Danes as the shopgirl who's smitten by his silver-haired charms. Yeah, he's crazy, like a fox, but it's Claire who's foxy when she's completely nude on the bed. She's face down, which means only her smooth ass is visible, but if you go that way (and who doesn't?) than go to the video store and pick up this booty!
*
Let's take a moment to acknowledge and admire the screamingly sensual talents of Scream Queen Linnea Quigley. By the Skinsider's count, this blonde bombshell has dropped clothes in close to forty movies. Audiences have grown up (in more ways than one) with her, from her nude debut in Auditions to her last recorded skin in Sex Files: Pleasureville. Don't Go Near the Park, out today on DVD, is an opportunity to see the girl (and her girls) toward the beginning of her glorious career. When opportunity knocks--especially opportunity with hard knockers--answer the door!
*
Though it's been on DVD previously, the re-release of The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave, out today on DVD, cannot be ignored. The classic horror by director Emilio Miraglia features the classic coffin striptease from Erika Blanc. If that doesn't have you racing to pick up this piece of scary sex then you deserve to be in a coffin.
*
Another horror movie by Emilio Miraglia, made a year after Evelyn, shows the director growing up and audiences getting up thanks to the ramped-up nudity in Red Queen Kills 7 Times, out today on DVD. Breast in show has to be Sybil Danning, but equally booby Barbara Bouchet holds her own as viewers hold their own. Don't fret, Barbara; with Sybil in a movie, how can any woman compete?
