The Skinsider Celebrity Rumors, Celebrity Gossip, Breaking News on Who's Getting Nude
Raising More than Kane — Lolita Updated in Sara — Polish-Sausage Pleasers — Valeria Bruni Tedeschi's Boobs
November 28, 2006
Wrestling star Kane leaves the squared ring for the big screen and now the small screen as See No Evil hits DVD shelves today. The WWE superstar goes by his given name, Glen Jacobs, but you can’t pun off of it as well. Bad taglines aside (“This Summer, Evil Gets Raw”), the gruesome horror flick is ripe with young flesh, though sadly most of it is being torn from the bone. More pleasing to the boner, however, is brown-haired Aussie arouser Samantha Noble. It’s a far more Noble thing to see her naked in the shower than tortured by the heavyweight. This is the model’s first flash onscreen, but she’s got a winning smile, and even more winning boobs, so let’s hope she makes a re-teat perv-formance soon.
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The Polish version of Lolita--it’s not the set-up for a bad joke, it’s Sara, out today on DVD, a modern take on that most modern of erotic stories. The old man here is a bodyguard hired to guard the very young and very hot body of Agnieszka Wlodarczyk, whose father is a notorious member of the Mafia. You may not be able to pronounce her ethnic name, but after watching her half dozen skin scenes, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to pronounce your own name. From modeling lingerie to her full-frontal bush, Agnieszka is the kind of girl who gets men arrested, as in cardiac arrest. She got naked once more in the movie E=mc2, but the lighting guy was no Einstein and her (now older) flesh was obscured in shadow. Stick with Sara and get sticky.
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Poland gets a lot of mean-spirited jokes directed toward its people, who are supposedly stupid and easily mocked. Perhaps. But when they look as good as Malgorzata Flegel-Siedler who cares? Malgorzata, who stars in Edi, out today on DVD, may not be the most intelligent woman to act in film. She has never been naked save for this picture, which isn’t so smart, but her body is a genius of desire.
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Time to Leave, out today on DVD, is the kind of French film that is hard to recommend. It’s about a gay fashion photographer who is dying of cancer and doesn’t go gracefully into that dark night. There is something to distract from the otherwise depressing setting and that’s Valeria Bruni Tedeschi, the Italian-born pizza ass. Valeria is no stranger to nudity, it’s something she’s been doing onscreen since C’est la vie. That’s life--her life--adding life to viewers’ pants. In Time to Leave, Valeria adds some life to the carnal classic ménage-à-trois. There are three sets of nipples, but hers are in the middle and all you need to pay attention to.
