The Skinsider Celebrity Rumors, Celebrity Gossip, Breaking News on Who's Getting Nude
Another Slice of American Pie — Eastern Promises Fulfilled — The Hard-on Kid — Thongs-a-popping in Rush Hour 3
December 25, 2007
What says Merry Christmas better than American Pie Presents: Beta House, which has just come out on DVD? This is a present that’s best unwrapped, so if you’re done snuggling under the mistletoe, then fight that frightful weather outside to move your holiday ass to the store to buy this newest (and nudest) installment in the kinky comedy franchise. Let’s start with Christine Barger, a large-breasted babe—hell, she’s just large—who makes her nude debut here. Blonde betty Ashleigh Hubbard is also a first-timer, as are pe-tit Angela Besharah and lusty Latina Sabrine Oliveira. Only Dawne Furey, as a stripper, is a vet. This is her sloppy seconds after the big-boobed blonde raised the dead in Land of the Dead as (what else?) a topless dancer.
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David Cronenberg is a director with promise, Eastern Promises, to be specific, which is out on DVD today. This Canadian auteur is known for his love of the body, at least in a perverted way, whether it’s the car sex of Crash or the virtual kink of Videodrome. Here he’s in more traditional waters. This is a mob story, but what’s a gangster without his moll? While raunchy Romanian Cristina Catalina plays a prostitute, it’s blonde bombshell Tereza Srbova who will blow up in your pants. These Eastern Promises are fulfilled in the most skinful way.
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Remakes are usually watered-down versions of the originals, but that’s not the case with The Heartbreak Kid, which is a sexy update of Neil Simon’s adaptation of a Bruce Jay Friedman short story and is out on DVD today. The story is hilarious, and the first movie is funny too, but neither has skin, which is why the Skinsider has to give it up to this Ben Stiller comedic retread. And up is the operative word here. Not that Stiller moves me; it’s sexy Swede Malin Akerman and the jamambo-sized breasts of porn star Kayla Kleevage that are so distracting. My hands are still moving just thinking about them.
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Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan are back again in Rush Hour 3. Why should you rush out to see this mainstream buddy action flick? I’ll give you five reasons: Francesca C. Cecil, Anna Chiu, Ann Christine, Jasmine Dustin, and Heather Mostofizadeh. None of these sexy ladies are naked, nor have they ever been onscreen, but they do get close. In a dressing-room scene all are caught with their pants down and their thongs on. Snap! Only Jasmine may ring a bell as a model on the hit game show Deal or No Deal. Deal—definitely deal.
